


write our names in the wet concrete

by capra, chupacabra (butyoumight)



Series: live with me forever (just not for long) [4]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Long-Distance Friendship, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Mutual Pining, Secret Relationship, Slow Burn, boys being dumb, but you're still gonna tell yourself you are, secret crushes, soft boys being dumb about their crushes, text message conversations, yes he's flirting with you, you're not imagining it, zuzuthan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:35:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21712330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/capra/pseuds/capra, https://archiveofourown.org/users/butyoumight/pseuds/chupacabra
Summary: Nathan hesitates. He considers. Oh, what the hell. Yuzu sent him goddamn peach emoji, for fuck's sake.>>the spandex is necessary for that costume. that i get to look is just a lucky side benefit for meOR:Nathan texts Yuzu to congratulate him on his win at ACI 2019. They talk about costumes and Halloween parties, pick a couples' costume, still somehow completely miss each other's signals, and bicker about who will pay for the plane ticket.But they're not dating. Sure, boys. [eyeroll emoji]
Relationships: Nathan Chen/Yuzuru Hanyu
Series: live with me forever (just not for long) [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1310987
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	write our names in the wet concrete

**Author's Note:**

> This is another installment of the _live with me forever (not for long)_ series, to which you can subscribe here: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1310987
> 
> As this series continues, you can keep track of the chronology of the events by the dates posted at the top of each fic, and by the order of the fics in the series. 
> 
> title from fall out boy's _last of the real ones_  
>  yuzu's texts are preceded by > and nathan's texts are preceded by >>

###  **write our names in the wet concrete**

**September 14, 2019**

\------------------

_ >>congrats! _

_ >>is it true those medals smell like syrup? _

\----------

_ >!!! _

(´・ω・`)

[ o ]\',(´ᴖωᴖ｀)

_ >it is! some years it has been more than others _

_ >or maybe some colors more than others _

\----------

>> _i still don't know how you type all those little faces. you have to have an app for it, right?_

_ >>that's so funny! i want a syrup medal :( _

_ >>the new costume's nice too. purple suits you _

\----------

> _it is the keyboard! Most of the shapes are actually parts of Japanese characters or scientific notation or a combination of both. Like this one_

_(｡□ﾟﾉ)ﾉ_

_The arms are a character_

_ >but you can download a kaomoji keyboard app if you want to make them too _

_ >then you should come to aci!! _

_ >thank youuu _

_⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄_

_ >I wanted a new energy for origin 2 _

_ >satomi-san is so easy to work with, she understands me well _

\----------

_ >>so you just make them all up? I can barely handle :)s _

_ >>lmao yeah right! I wouldn't dream of challenging you on home turf like that. besides it's a bad time of year for me now _

Nathan's actually not entirely sure what that face is. All the slashed lines just make him think italics for some reason. Is it embarrassed? 

>> _my mom would call it regal. very appropriate_

_ >>i bet she does _

He wouldn't normally ask his next question, because they're generally pretty good about leaving 'work stuff', such as it is, in work spaces. But this conversation has already veered unexpectedly, and yet positively, into more grounded topics, so Nathan feels a little looser. 

_ >>how much input do you have. do you tell her colors? shapes? _

\----------

_ >no, i don't! there's many that you just, um, already know? how you know =) and ;) and etc. ones everyone just knows! _

_ >there can be many that mean the same thing: _

_(//ω//)_

_(〃•ㅂ•〃)_

_(≧∀≦)_

_⁄ ⁄ >⁄ ▽ ⁄<⁄ ⁄ _

_ >and there's animals too! _

_∪･ω･∪_

_ >oh, but they've been probably confusing you a lot, sorry _

Yuzu, if he's being fully honest, has already kinda counted on that. He's not sure he'd be brave enough to be blushing and making kissy face at Nathan this much if he was certain Nathan really could read every one of them as easily as Yuzu can. And yet, there's the thrill - what if he _does_ understand? What if Yuzu's showing his hand? Yuzu loves the risk of it.

_ >i can explain them to you if you want! _

_ >ah! my mama did too. purple is kings' color _

_ >it's been many seasons together _

(๑و•̀ω•́)و

Nathan's show of curiosity absolutely delights Yuzu. They haven't talked about costumes since their secret date in Montreal, when Nathan showed Yuzu his new costumes, and between then and now came their attempt at sharing ice time at Shae-Lynn's rink. That two-day span, though it ended warmly enough, signaled to them both that they were better off _strictly_ keeping their work away from each other. But talking about costumes feels different for Yuzu, because it's not about their skill on the ice, but about expressing their personalities, their visions. So he's happy that Nathan feels similarly enough that he still wants to talk about this kind of thing with Yuzu.

_ >hmmm. I tell her what I want it to feel like, what the character I'm portraying is. we talk about ideas, and then she designs. and when she's doing fittings, we talk a lot about it. I'm awful I'm sure, I'm actually very picky! she is endlessly patient~ _

_(/▽＼)_

_ >this year I wanted it to be symmetrical, instead of asymmetrical like last time _

\----------

>> _no it's okay. I like to guess._

_ >>i'm envious of that. i have such a hard time with costumes. i have ideas but it's not really my talent. _

Nathan's entranced by the explanation of their process. The few years he's worked with Vera now is a totally different thing, and while she absolutely understands him and what he wants, what he's trying to say- it seems like mostly a lot of other people don't speak the same language as them. It's different with Yuzu's costumes- they speak for themselves. 

_ >>i like it! it fits with the refined program, too. and it looks less like ash and feathers. _

\----------

_ >o(*>ω<*)o _

> _i am lucky that satomi-san has helped me make my ideas sensible. i come up with very complicated ones sometimes._

_ >last year *was* ashes!! cinders and phoenix feathers. I'm so happy you saw that~ _

> _ヾ(*ㅿ*๑)ﾂ_

Instead of responding to the bit before that, though, Yuzu just holds his phone close and tucks Nathan's comment deep into his memory to hold it. One competition in, and he's already calling Origin 2 a more refined program than the first. It's a rewarding feeling, hearing that so soon in the season, and from Nathan in particular.

Yuzu tries not to think too hard about why it matters so much to him that _Nathan_ understands his programs and his costumes. He tries not to think about _Haru Yo Koi_ or about _Next To Me_ ; he tries not to get lost in his thoughts. Instead he focuses on the conversation in front of him.

> _online they are calling it witchy and gothic._

_ > (o≖◡≖) _

_ >this makes me happy _

\----------

>> _I bet you do. You have that kind of mind, you see everything in technicolor and full definition. It's cool._

_ >>how could I miss it! It was really good and it fit too. I like both costumes. _

There's a small pause and then Yuzu continues and Nathan greets that with a smile, though of course Yuzuru can't see it. 

_ >>very spooky. halloween chic. _

\----------

Yuzu bites his lip, trying to calm himself. Nathan's just talking about Yuzu's well-documented propensity for extensive, multi-threaded planning. He's not - he's not _flirting_. 

It is certainly having the same effect, and Yuzu has to roll over onto his back, staring up at his bedroom ceiling, for a few moments, to try to get his flush under control. But Nathan doesn't _mean_ it that way, and Yuzu would do well to remember that.

 _You're the only idiot who fell in love, remember that,_ he scolds himself, exhaling harshly. _Don't read into it and make it awkward for him. You're just talking about costuming together._

> _thank you!_

_ >(。O⁄ ⁄ω⁄ ⁄ O。) _

_ >i like both too, but I like 2 better. because it's time for 2 now of course! _

_ >halloween chic? haha, i don't think i'd wear it to a party, it's too delicate for that _

_ >but maybe a witch costume would be good. hat or no hat~? _

_ > =^._.^= ∫ _

\----------

More slashed lines. Nathan's almost sure now that they indicate blushing, but he's still not sure what to do with that information, so he just keeps tucking it away. He tells himself he can examine that thought more closely later, when he has more time and isn't actively engaged in a conversation with Yuzu.

And then he never does. 

_ >>they have different meanings. it gives a different feel to the same program. _

_ >>would you go to a halloween party? Cute. _

>> _the hat's classic but i don't know, it might shadow your face too much_

\----------

_ >yes, yes. it is hoping to be an evolution of Origin. not a repeat. recycling takes something and makes it into something new, more useful. _

_ >oh _

_ >no, i wouldn't. but if I did _

Yuzu wonders if Nathan will find it odd that Yuzu also visualizes things he *isn't* going to do, not just things he will. Not nearly as often, of course, but, on occasion...

_ >is that bad? _

\----------

>> _that's a good way to explain it. evolution, right?_

Nathan laughs a little bit- he should have known. 

_ >>is what bad? your face being in shadow? _

_ >>only if it's in a situation where you don't have to be afraid of being recognized _

\----------

_ >yes! evolve to survive _

_ >well, this make believe party would be a safe one~ _

_ >but would it still be bad to have a costume that covers my face? _

_ >(-ω- ?) _

Yuzu knows he's playing with fire, but...but he just can't stop himself. _I'll regret this in the morning,_ he decides. _For now, I leap._

\----------

>> _survival of the fittest!_

_ >>oh well okay if that's the case... like it's a cricket party _

_ >>i don't think I'd be the only one disappointed if your face was covered. _

\----------

_ >I guess I better work out more! _

_ >(๑و•̀ω•́)و _

_ >I'd uncover it if you asked _

_ > |ω･`) _

_ > |･ω･｀) _

_ > (´・ω・｀) _

\----------

>> _oh i don't know about that, i'm pretty sure you're already one of the most fit._

Nathan doesn't really hesitate before sending that one, because he doesn't at all mean it in a flirty 'tee hee you're hot' way, though once it's sent he realizes completely how it could be interpreted that way. So. That's something. 

What is he even doing right now, he wonders. Destroying his sleep schedule for a flirty conversation by text. It feels delightfully illicit and at the same time kind of unreasonable. If he's going to be tired tomorrow, it might as well be for a better conversation than a text chain. Like facetime or something. 

But he never initiates facetime calls. Yuzu values his privacy so much, and Nathan gets let in so much more than so many already. 

_ >>well then i'd feel guilty that no one else got to see! _

\----------

Yuzu doesn't even think. He just opens a reply immediately. Another text from Nathan comes in while he's scrolling to find the right emoji, but as they've been doing all conversation, he answers all the texts in order.

>🍑

_ >and, if i wanted to show people i would show people. _

_ >maybe i only would want to show you _

_ >maybe you are the only one who thinks to ask! _

_ > ( ･ω･)つ _

\----------

Nathan really does hesitate for a moment after that one. Partly because... Well, completely because... That's a loaded emoji. And Yuzu uses actual emojis so infrequently that it stands out especially in his conversation window. 

But he's not... He has no way of knowing whether than emoji holds the same connotation in Japanese as it does in English. 

_ >>well ig uess that's okay then _

\----------

Shit. Was that too far? Yuzu reads meaning into every moment that passes until the comforting **...** graphic pops up in the window, telling him Nathan's responding. But clearly _some_ of the meaning he feared was there, _is_ there, because Nathan completely ignores the peach and carries on with the rest of the conversation.

With a typo.

Yuzu really doesn't know what to do.

_ >ok, glad that you agree ( ˘ ³˘) _

\----------

Nathan takes a moment to cool down, closes the app and checks instagram for a minute before he finds himself dragged right back. 

_ >>so if you're a witch, what should i dress as? _

\----------

Yuzu had given up on getting an answer back, and has his face buried in his pillow to muffle his scream of frustration and disappointment in himself. He made Nathan uncomfortable! 

He shouldn't have been that bold, not in this format. Not when it's been ages and even a _fight_ between the last time they were together and now! There's no telling how Nathan's feeling about their whole _thing_ , and Yuzu already knows his _own_ feelings aren't appropriate, and so for Yuzu to have just assumed, blustering along like it wasn't completely rude and presumptuous of him to do so...

And then his phone dings again. He lurches back up so quickly that one of his textbooks slides off the far side of the bed, and scrambles to unlock his phone. 

_ >hmm, hmmm... _

_ >oh! _

_ >＼(º □ º !!!)/ _

_ >you should be superman _

_ >you have the little curl of hair on the forehead. _

_ >and you have glasses, so you can be clark kent. _

\----------

>> _omg. i love it._

Nathan pauses for a moment, then sighs and decides to go for it. What's the worst that can happen? Yuzu already sent him a peach emoji for fuck's sake.

>> _but then we wouldn't match :(_

\----------

_ >then I'll change mine~ _

_ >should I be lois or batman or lex luthor~? _

\----------

>> _those are all terrible ideas! lois's clothes are boring and batman always wears a mask which was the whole problem to begin with._

_ >>and lex luthor doesn't have any hair! NOT ACCEPTABLE _

_ >>how about i'm clark kent and you're superman _

\----------

_ >oh! I like it~ _

_ >then we're the same together. Different but the same~ _

_ >it is a little unfair though....... _

_ >(〃∀〃) _

\----------

>> _exactly. it's perfect._

_ >>...what's unfair? _

\----------

_ >unfair that only you will get to have the best view _

_ >suit pants are just not the same _

\----------

>> _some things can't be helped. You're bound to be much more comfortable in that costume than I would be._

_ >>plus you get a cape! _

\----------

Yuzu puts his phone down carefully. He's done it again. Twice in one conversation, he's made Nathan uncomfortable enough that he just had to completely ignore what Yuzu had to say because there was no acceptable answer to it. Raking his hair back from his face, Yuzu knots it in his fist and sighs, feeling resigned.

 _You knew you might regret the leap,_ he reminds himself. _But at least you took it._

> _comfort is important!_

>🦸

\----------

>> _exactly._

Nathan hesitates. He considers. He remembers the goddamn peach emoji. 

_ >>me getting the good view is just a lucky side benefit for me. _

\----------

Yuzu's put himself in this situation, _he_ invited the comments, he pushed _twice_ , and even still, he feels like he's caught his toe picks in the ice like a novice. It's not because Nathan responded to the peach - finally - it's because Yuzu's twice jumped the gun, assumed that Nathan _wasn't_ going to answer it, that Yuzu'd offended him.

 _I've got to start remembering he types slower than he speaks,_ Yuzu thinks, wry.

Okay. So, emotional whiplash aside, he's got a message to answer.

> _i am glad that this make believe party is such a safe one_

_ > we will easily have time to ourselves without any worrying _

_ >♪ ヾ(*⌒∇⌒)八(⌒∇⌒*)ツ ♪♡ _

\----------

_ >>i'm beginning to wonder if it's even a party or if it's just us... Hmm. _

_ >>Not that I mind either way. Any time I get to spend time with you is good for me. _

_ >>speaking of which, do you have your upcoming schedule figured out yet? _

\----------

_ >whatever we want to plan, we should plan it soon! or not for a while. _

_ >i can't see any openings other than the next 2 weekends. but probably not even both, you have JO after that. _

_ >and then it's our assigns solid through until second weekend november. _

_ > _（＃￣～￣＃）

\----------

>> _i don't want to wait that long if we can help it._

He really doesn't. He's been putting a lot of work in to permissions and things. 

_ >>yeah I'm gonna be in montreal again right before JO. But not free enough to sneak away. _

_ >>what about next weekend? I know it's short notice _

_ >>it doesn't have to be the whole trip. just a day and a night. a little bit of skating. _

\----------

Yuzu chews his lip, thinking it over - _really_ thinking it over - before he answers.

_ >Next weekend... can work. i can do it. i am sure there is direct flight. _

>(๑و•̀ω•́)و

_ >but... i would have to tell. i could not explain away wanting vacation at this time without explaining why. _

_ >i could probably tell only mama. i could tell coaches it is personal. they would be grumpy but they would not pry. _

_ >ghislain might figure it out anyway. _

_ >...would that be okay? _

\----------

Nathan hates how he hesitates at that. He's not even sure why- surely Yuzuru's mom has some idea of their friendship. It's not like Yuzu visiting him is going to scream their relationship to the world, or even really to his team.

Ghislain probably already knows, too. He caught Nathan in Yuzu's room in Russia, after all. 

_ >>it's up to you. I don't want to cause you unnecessary stress if that's the case. _

_ >>I can help pay for the flight, too. since it was my idea and i'm the one being impatient. _

\----------

_ >it will not cause unnecessary stress, i promise. _

Yuzu can't honestly say the trip won't cause _any_ stress, but there's too many ways in which stress is simply an unavoidable fact of life for someone as control-focused as he is. Itemizing the stressful factors definitely wouldn't make Nathan feel better - and they're factors that, on the whole, would apply to a trip like this regardless of who's waiting at the other end.

And it's going to be worth it. He's pretty sure of it.

_ >i may be more patient than you, but that does not mean i am less invested in the reward _

_ >and if we don't visit this weekend, then it will have been five months since we last visited before we have another chance. it has already been three. _

_ >not too soon, remember? _

_ > _✧( •˓◞•̀ )

_ >don't worry about the cost _

_ >you have good ideas _

_ >and i would not want to make you miss out on any new shoes~ _

> (´ >ω・`)

\----------

>> _okay. if you're sure._

Nathan says it because it's the right and polite thing to say. But really, he already knows that Yuzu wouldn't have bothered giving the offer if he wasn't sure to begin with. He's just being self-conscious, which is probably making Yuzu more self-conscious. He doesn't want that to turn into a thing, so he takes Yuzu's joke about the shoes and runs with it.

>> _well i wouldn't want you to miss out on any headphones_

_ >>earphones _

_ >>so let me help. _

\----------

_ >i'll be even more sure when I get off the plane _

'and see you,' Yuzu doesn't add, because he has _some_ measure of self-preservation left to him, even at this hour, even in the midst of making this insane, irresponsible, impulsive plan, biting his bottom lip between his teeth, focusing only on his own body and the conversation on his screen to keep his awareness of the world at large away. He's so conscious of his own quickened heartbeat that he can feel his pulse moving in his wrists, in the bends of his elbows.

_ >there are no important earphone releases scheduled until spring quarter 2020 _

_ >but i will let you help anyway _

_ >(´-ω-`)♡ _

\----------

That sends a thrill through Nathan that he can't even start to quantify. It's just... It makes him feel so... 

So good, damn it. 

>> _okay. I'll take your word for it._

_ >>let me know when you get your ticket. I'll pick you up. _

A pause, a laugh. 

>> _wow you know that far in advance?_

_ >>we know some shoe releases that early but i like the surprise. _

\----------

_ >i will let you know _

That's that, then. Okay. Yuzu tries to remember if his chest felt like this after they made their plans to meet in Montreal at the start of the year, nearly _nine_ months ago. He doesn't think so. It seems like he'd recall a feeling this strong.

> _it is like phones, the technology progression can be forecast_

_ >dates are pushed back sometimes, but never forward _

_ >there's still surprise for me. the first time i put them on, the new things that are in the music. _

'Things'. He can't even remember proper audiophile terminology. The adrenaline of the conversation has brought him this far, all the way to the peak of _'I'll pick you up."_ But now it's dropping him, and his body is demanding its belated due.

_ >Suddenly I must sleep, :( _

_ >I will message you the time for Friday _

\----------

It's all very abrupt, but Nathan can't really blame him. He feels pretty light-headed himself. They're really doing this. It's so clandestine and yet so simple. Just come for a day. Expensive, sure, but if it works out this time, it can happen... 

More. Better. Planned more in advance. In the spring after Worlds, once everything has calmed down and they can take just a little break from work, from their careers. 

But first they have to make it work this time. 

>> _okay._

_ >>yeah i really should go too. _

_ >>sleep well. _

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> i think this one was pretty self-explanatory, but if you've got any questions, the comments are on moderation, which means only i will see them: so today there's no stupid (or embarrassing) questions.
> 
> this work will remain unlocked for a short while, then will lock to be visible only to logged-in users, like many other parts of this series are locked. to see the whole story, you're going to need an account on AO3. I can help with that if you like - just comment below.
> 
> while i'm soliciting feedback, here's another thing we'd like to hear about: 
> 
> is the texting format is reading clearly for you? the series will not all be in texting format, but in an LDR texting *is* a big part of things, so we want to make sure it's legible for you all. we're trying to find a good balance between visual satisfaction and accessible legibility for all readers and screen-readers. so please let us know how we're doing.
> 
>   
> thank you for reading. more to come.  
> feed us comments or else we'll start thinking like the boys, that you don't really like us after all~


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